The Sagacious Woody

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Behold! The old beardy hunches over his pot – He licks up, in broad daylight, his damp woods stewed hot! He shakes his head, keeps muttering hymns like a mage – From his ways, you would think he’s no less than a sage! Blabbers all day long – you’d wonder from where they stem – “The sky’s full of cobwebs, so woods have holes in them.” He raises his bald head and beads of sweat run down, “Nobody can fathom its gravity –” he’d frown, “These foolish dunderheads, to such matters purblind, Don’t seem to take in – always wrangling in their mind. Which wood has more essence – blind to facts such simple – Why on eleventh lunar days, woods get dimple.” Scribbled around all o’er, in fact, is his account Of cracked woods and notched woods – he loses not a count! Which hole tastes delicious, and which hole’s insipid, Which crack gives off fragrance, and which one smells horrid. Clunk! Clank! Clackety-rattle! He knocks wood with wood, And says, “I know which wood in what way gets subdued. Paying a...
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Looney Cow

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Looney cow isn’t quite a cow – in fact, it’s a bird,
See her in Haru’s office, I give you my word.
An elegant profile, with eyes a droopy pair,
Well groomed, well trimmed in flair, has a neatly combed hair.
Curled up horns like ‘threes’*, and a twisted spiral tail –
Touch her once, she yells out loud – like she has an ail!
Rickety-rackety rattles up then her bony frame,
Scold her vile, she falls in a pile, startled in shame.
No poetries are enough, nor is any scripture 
To describe her beauty – just look at her picture.

Looney cow pants hard, when slants to a wall,
Of whimsies unknown, she often begins to bawl.
Sometimes charges forward, gets enraged now and then;
Topples down as jaws get locked, which occurs quite often.
Doesn’t seem to eat grasses, hay or a grain of wheat,
Eats neither bread nor seeds, she shows no taste for sweet.
Has distaste for meat and desserts – wait, don’t yet mope,
She eats nothing else but candles and soup of soap.
Feed her anything else, she shoots up a racking cough,
Trembles terribly, her legs shake as they’d break off.
Found, one day, an old rag, did nothing but swallow –
For three months suffered, lay half-dead on a pillow.

 Wish to buy a Looney Cow? Think about it thrice –
Let me know then, for I’ll give you at a low price.
(Bengali original: Tnyash Goru)
Translated by Arkajyoti Banerjee 
*[Note: The horns of Looney Cow resemble the shape of the number 3 in Bengali script.]

ট্যাঁশ গরু (Tnyash Goru) 

ট্যাঁশ গরু গরু নয়, আসলেতে পাখি সে;
যার খুশি দেখে এস হারুদের আফিসে।
চোখ দুটি ঢুলু ঢুলু, মুখখানা মস্ত,
ফিট্‌ফাট্ কালোচুলে টেরিকাটা চোস্ত।
তিন–বাঁকা শিং তার, ল্যাজখানি প্যাঁচান—
একটুকু ছোঁও যদি, বাপ্‌রে কি চ্যাঁচান!
লট্‌খটে হাড়গোড় খট্‌খট্ ন'ড়ে যায়,
ধমকালে ল্যাগ্‌ব্যাগ্ চমকিয়ে প'ড়ে যায়।
বর্ণিতে রূপ গুন সাধ্য কি কবিতার,
চেহারার কি বাহার–ঐ দেখ ছবি তার।
ট্যাঁশ গরু খাবি খায় ঠ্যাস দিয়ে দেয়ালে,
মাঝে মাঝে কেঁদে ফেলে না জানি কি খেয়ালে;

মাঝে মাঝে তেড়ে ওঠে, মাঝে মাঝে রেগে যায়,
মাঝে মাঝে কুপোকাৎ দাঁতে দাঁত লেগে যায়।
খায় না সে দানাপানি–ঘাস পাতা বিচালি,
খায় না সে ছোলা ছাতু ময়দা কি পিঠালি;
রুচি নাই আমিষেতে, রুচি নাই পায়সে,
সাবানের সূপ আর মোমবাতি খায় সে।
আর কিছু খেলে তার কাশি ওঠে খক্ খক্
সারা গায়ে ঘিন্‌ঘিন্ ঠ্যাং কাঁপে ঠক্ ঠক্।
একদিন খেয়ে ছিল ন্যাক্‌ড়ার ফালি সে—
তিন মাস আধমরা শুয়েছিল বালিশে।
কারো যদি শখ্ থাকে ট্যাঁশ গরু কিন্‌তে,
সস্তায় দিতে পারি, দেখ ভেবে চিন্তে।
By Sukumar Ray


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